Day 13 (8/2/12)

Breakfast - slept through suhoor again, ugh!

Dinner -

• Wendy's chili (small) with cheese and onions
• 6 chicken nuggets, with sweet and sour sauce
• large glass of milk
• huge piece of chocolate eruption cake - which was awful and threw half of it away!

Total carbs - WAY too many..

Was going to completely give up on eating right, but just decided to let myself off the hook for a few days.  I feel way better eating healthy (the next morning after eating the above was cranky and tired and felt awful) and am committed to making better choices and habits in the long-term..

Day 14 (8/3/12)

Did not wake up for suhoor today (I think that makes a total of three so far) - so I have not eaten since 11 PM last night.  That also means (1) was late for morning prayer, (2) did not take morning vitamins and allergy medicine and (3) very cranky this morning /mad at myself..

I took it out on my son by being grouchy this morning, and ended up leaving my phone at home - but today has gone fine and I will apologize to him this afternoon and make him spaghetti with meatballs..

Day 10 (7/30/12)

Breakfast:

• pea salad (10 carbs?)
• 5 meatballs with BBQ sauce and slice of cheese melted over (6 carbs)
• water

Dinner:

• smoked fish (4)
• egg salad (1)
• mac-n-cheese with extra cheddar (12)
• large glass of milk (15)
• blueberries (15) 
• cookies (34)

Total - DISASTER (97, ugh)

Started out with good intentions, and even bought some smoked fish at the store just for dinner.. it was smoked with salt and sugar but posed little threat to a low-carb meal on it's own.  However, my son did not finish his mac-n-cheese and I thought "it's just a little bit" so I draped on way more cheddar and nuked it for an over-the-top treat.  Then I was craving milk - which I poured a glass, and of course HAD to finish.. The blueberries were maybe gonna go bad but then the cravings kicked in and it was time to hit the hard stuff - the cookies.  Partly I think that this is due to the length of time which I let myself eat.. I was clearly full by the time I really slipped up but could have gone right on eating much longer.  Maybe a time limit would help.

Day 9 (7/29/12)

Breakfast:

• bacon and broccoli salad
• no-grain tabouleh
• 6 oz. orange juice 
• water 

Dinner:

• milk - 10 oz
• grape juice - 16 oz.
• 6 oz. Campbell's chicken noodle (broth only)
• 3 crackers with brie
• 1 slice of pumpkin pie
• 2 small rice krispy squares with chocolate
• 1 bite of brownie (had to throw most away as it was TOO sweet)

Not even going to add this up.. the kicker was that the chocolate treats were on the stale side so not even as good as they could be - and not really worth the guilt.  Bought the cheap pumpkin pie from the store because I had been thinking that the filling of a pumpkin pie would have lots of fiber, and the net carbs would be low.  The crust was awful and the whole thing tasted like cardbaord - now I need to figure out how to get this stuff out of the kitchen so I don't have to even look at it.

There was one moment where I had to decide to go over the edge, and almost walked away from the carbs, but then decided I HAD to have them or they would be controlling me as much as NOT having them.. not sure if that makes sense or was just a justification..

Back on track tomorrow..

Day 8 (7/28/12)

Breakfast:

• bacon and broccoli salad (4)
• no-grain tabouleh (5)
• two pieces of lox with cream cheese and capers (2)
• water

Dinner:

• mini-meatloaf (4)
• steamed broccoli (5)
• small salad with dressing (5)
• water (0)
• piece of homemade apple and blackberry pie (18)
• 2 cookies (oatmeal chocolate chip) - (15?)

Total carbohydrates for the day: 58

I am totally guessing on the carbs now.. just my estimations.  Went nuts on the carbs and the homemade goodies at my grandma's house were almost worth it, but must get back on track. 

Day 5 (725/12)

Breakfast - 3:40 AM

• no-bread BLT(A)s:
• 7 pieces of turkey bacon (5 carbs)
• lettuce (2 carbs) 
• tomato, one small (6 carbs)
• mayo (1 carb)
• last of the leftover onion eggs (3 carbs)
• ginger tea (17 carbs) - OOPS, thought it was just like tea!
• water

pre-dinner glucose check - 101!!

Dinner - 9 PM

• 1/2 an avocado with salt and lemon (3)
• pea salad
• 3/4 cup peas (15)
• 1 green onion (0)
• 1 egg yolk (1)
• 1 spoonful mayonnaise (1)
• 1 piece of strong soft cheese (0)
• on a cracker (3)
• double portion of tabouleh - cucumbers, tomato, parsley, olive oil, salt, lemon juice (8)
• 1/2 cup of cantaloupe melon (10)

Total carbohydrates for the day: 34 breakfast + 41 dinner = 75 *yikes*

Thoughts:  One of the ideals in Islam is to stop eating while you still feel hungry, so as i was eating dinner and tried to do that.  It slowed me down a bit, but i definitely could have stopped, in terms of having already eaten enough at one point but my brain/cravings still said to keep eating.  Near the end, i got out a rice krispy treat that my aunt had made with peanut butter (topped with chocolate), intending to eat it.  I got it out of the cookie jar - and put it in front of me.  I smelled it deeply.  I smelled it again.  I almost started to cry (granted i was watching a particularly teary episode of Glee at the time).  Then I put it back.

It has now been over a week since I have had chocolate, milkshakes, cookies, donuts, cupcakes, candy or cake.  The cravings are getting weaker and only in moments like those above is it a problem.  Walking by the candy jar at work is not an issue - it is the baked goods that call to me (like carrot cake with cream cheese frosting) or a nice, cold, rich, real-ice-cream milkshake.  The problem with most items I crave: they never taste quite as great as they seem like they will. Maybe the cravings are better than actually eating them (the wanting is better than the getting). 

Day 4 (7/24/12)

Breakfast - overslept! Actually, my iPhone dock was not powered on so it did not make any sound when the alarm went off so I skipped food and drink and vitamins this morning.. it will be a long day, presumably.  Maybe this was just getting too easy!

The good news is I slept for almost a solid 8 hours for the first time in a week.

glucose at 9 PM - 98!!

Dinner - 9:10 PM

• 1 blueberry, to break my fast (free)
• no-grain tabouleh: 
• cucmber, tomatoes, parsley (5 grams)
• oil, salt, lemon juice (1 gram?)
• tried to make garlic fried green beans like my favorite chinese food place:
• green beans, cooked (4 grams)
• garlic in oil, amino acids for salt (1 gram?)
• 10 slices of turkey bacon (5 grams)
• 1 pint of blueberries, because i just could not stop (8,000 grams)
• 2 meatballs (2 grams)
• 4 pistachios (free)

Total carbohydrates for the day: 17 plus infinity... :(

Insights: cravings were less intense and more specific today - chocolate /caramel is big but also broccoli.  Milkshake, beer.  Going away slowly.. ever so slowly.

Lesson: don't let your cravings stare you in the face.  If possible, don't buy foods you can't say no to.  If it's not your choice, put them somewhere you won't have to see them.